Q0031
“If you wish to be loved, love.” — Seneca (Letters to Lucilius, Ep. 9.6 (quoting…)
Verified English quotation. Primary source: Letters to Lucilius, Ep. 9.6 (quoting Hecato). Theme: love.
English
If you wish to be loved, love.
Source and attribution
The archive attributes this English wording to Letters to Lucilius, Ep. 9.6 (quoting Hecato) and files it under Stoicism. That locator distinguishes the passage from loose internet attributions: readers can return to the named work or section to check translation, surrounding argument, and edition-specific wording.
About Seneca
Lucius Annaeus Seneca (c. 4 BCE–65 CE) was a Cordoban-born Stoic, tragic playwright, and adviser—later forced suicide victim—under Nero.
Interpretation
Seneca is quoting the Stoic teacher Hecato, and the sentence is a recommendation rather than an observation about reciprocity. His argument in the letter is that affection is not obtained by calculation or by obligation, but by being affectionate — so the usual strategy of trying to secure love is self-defeating. The claim rests on the Stoic view that what is up to us is our own conduct, not another person's response.
Why it matters
It is a correction to a common approach: trying to make someone love you through strategy fails for structural reasons. What is available is your own conduct.
Concepts in this quote
- Love
- Love in philosophy ranges from friendship and desire to care, justice, and the transformation of the self.
- Action
- Action concerns agency: what it is to do something intentionally, and how thought becomes practice.
How to cite this quotation
APA: Seneca. (n.d.). If you wish to be loved, love. In Philosophy Blind Box. https://www.philosophydef.com/quotes/q0031
MLA: Seneca. “If you wish to be loved, love..” Philosophy Blind Box, https://www.philosophydef.com/quotes/q0031.
Chicago: Seneca. “If you wish to be loved, love..” Philosophy Blind Box. Accessed 2026. https://www.philosophydef.com/quotes/q0031.
Frequently asked questions
What is the source of the quotation “If you wish to be loved, love.”?
The passage is attributed to Seneca, Letters to Lucilius, Ep. 9.6 (quoting Hecato). The archive attributes this English wording to Letters to Lucilius, Ep. 9.6 (quoting Hecato) and files it under Stoicism. That locator distinguishes the passage from loose internet attributions: readers can return to the named work or section to check translation, surrounding argument, and edition-specific wording.
What does Seneca mean by love?
Greek distinctions among eros, philia, and agape, Confucian relational ethics, and modern debates about romantic love keep the theme philosophically precise rather than merely sentimental. This passage enters that discussion through love, action.